Quiet simply, I am too much. 

Too many expectations.

Constantly a new precipice,

Gazing past my toes, then back at you.

The edge crumbles

I sway. 

To fall or step back and walk away. 

To wait and steel myself 'gainst the wind. 

To drop and feel the nothingness rush past. 

I do this to myself by being too much. 

By loving, feeling, connecting. 

Trying to at least. 

I force myself where I'm not wanted

seep into the cracks 

expand 

fracture the foundation. 

Now it's broken, my fault, I'm to blame,

Isn't that what you say?

My too muchness drove you to it

I'm too much to endure. 

Ask too much, question too much, probe, prod, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, pick , pick, pick, pick, pick, pick.

Marry Him Young

Get him YOUNG, girl
make him yours.


Stake your claim
Take his name

Strike while the iron is hot.

Burn your nails in his flesh
keep his heart in a jar on your night stand.

Get there before SHE does
For once she gets her way you're done
there's no undoing the bitch's handiwork
the little cunt done fucked you both up.


Go, take him, or else

Else you wish to sit next to me and nursey the melancholia.

It is starting to sink in that I may never be a wife and mother. 

These times, they are a changing, for them boys ain't engaging. 

In a way, it kinda feels like a failed. 

To my darling Dustin who's presence I've wished for as chronicled in the archives of my previous posts

I am no better then any of you

My feelings are small and petty too

So why am am I trailing behind

No victories to show of the familial kind.

This limbo of mine a result of thine

An unwillingness unknown

No resolution to find.

My heart strains

My resolve weins

A test

This test

Proofs hard to define

The equation unsolved

Till you make up your mind.

Must I stop serving the ball?

Is that what you divine?

An empty court, no volley to reply?

Partnerless.

Is that it?

Partnerless.

Is that your wish?


Partnerless.

My Dearest.

LOVE, she is wicked and my greatest desire. 

Far crueler then my mistress--

please, please do not abandon me. 

My Secret for Finding LOVE

1. Know thy self and love they self; must be able to be alone with yourself.
2. To thine own self be true.
3. Believe in and fight for Love. Never give up on Love.
4. Constantly put out to the Universe your desire to know, feel, be in Love.
5. Never settle.
6. Dream it, be it, get lost in it.
7. Realize the importance of the little things.
8. The quest for Love is a hard battle, but know when to take your armor off; be vulnerable.
9. Recognize when you've lost a fight, bow out graciously and acknowledge the victor.
10. Love Love even when she doesn't seem to love you, continue your belief in her and she will eventually reward you. 

LOVE FROM AFAR

 I MADE THIS

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