Love is so simply complicated
A jumble of mixed emotions
tangled tangents of dreams
lovely little messy things.

You Wrote Me A Prescription

with you I never have to worry about smoke in my hair

(both the tobacco and cannabis variety)

or that you'll be too drunk to be interested in me,

waning affections to rival the moon

or periods of cold, steely indifference.

nor illegitimate children

and the estranged mothers

to keep me fret with concern

and blessedly there is no other woman

(unless one is counting your occupation, but on that front our mistresses are the same).

in your every action, every word it is clear

yet still--

I worry one day I'll awake to find you not there

my old fear manages to creep in

for history has proven that by now

something should have happened.

a hurtful, heartbreaking something

to leave me in pieces and crush all the happy

rendering me a useless pulp fit for the refuse.

I have this worry because I love

and dream

and can see our future.

children formed from endless vows of love and care

family, happy and whole

partnership

a hand and arm to always hold

to grow old--

an enticing prospect with you involved.

my greatest want

and therefore deepest fear is to lose it all

a future only possible with you

a life in your hands.

and one cannot control the other

or make up the others mind.

ours is a course which will prove it's self in time.

***

"may we be happy,

may we be grand,

my i find myself forever holding your hand.

Love's kisses, caresses, embraces

shared.

the old cliche of two hearts behaving as one

prove to be the whole of the sum of our parts,

yes! let's hear it for the wishes of our hearts

that yours and mine be one in the same

and that we not find ourselves forever playing the game

of love

which can be so wicked and cruel,

yet capable of a happy ending

for I have you

and you have me

so let us just wait and see how this ending will be

hopefully not too long before the out come revealed

with the asking of a question and our fates then sealed

merrily a marry, the only cure for my maladies, marks the beginning

of a long, lovely life

where i look at the and sigh 'oh, husband'

and you reply 'yes, dear wife.'"

Doctor, doctor, give me the news

I will be your little woman.

I can be your little bride,

it would be a honor to stand by your side

through the trials of life

the victories and joys

you are the calming force which drowns out the noise

of my mind's fears

my heart's sorrows and woes.

O! heaven help me, God himself knows

how long I have waited and wanted

to feel this--this which you give so freely

so utterly completely

this overwhelming, breath stopping,

so-wonderful-I-don't-know-what's-keeping-me-from-popping

FEELING of

of

of...

dare, I?

I thought I knew before, but now--with this--

dare I say it?

Can this be,

is this what it really feels like to be in

within

contented and reciprocated

...love?

I am a girl teetering on the edge

staring at the fathomage drop

no fear of falling

simply waiting,

waiting for the confirmation

that you will great me at the end of the plunge.

YOUR POETRY HAS RUINED ME.

THANKS A LOT.

^%#$%@#$@#&^*#@%$

!

Old patterns

Contact with My Former Future Husband and stalking The Artist Man.

Yes, it is summer indeed.

Dallas, girl, you're holding out. I know your'e hiding a decent man from me.

MM

Goodness!

I'm doing that thing again where I play out stories in my head with people who aren't really there and with circumstances that don't exist. Over active imagination please stop thinking about all that could be with The Man who is 1000 miles away and is never moving back. Be thankful for the few times we had and cut the losses. Don't think about all the wasted potential. Don't think about the unsatisfied desires. Don't think about what could have been. Don't think about The Artist Man so may states away. Don't. Stop already. Stop.

working on defining

"nothing ever came of her capacity to love."

I want to explore this concept in my art

3rd degree

Pride comes before the fall.

There will be a hard fall.

Hard fall.

And if lucky, that is all

but when you play with fire, the chance of getting burned, is

well, pretty darn high.

No Modern Fairytale

tired of playing Cinderella

showing up to the ball

where's Prince Charming?

He's up against the wall

crushing the Ugly Step sister

making sweet nothing to her;

go on and waltz alone.

part of your world is where I'd like to be

so I'll rescue you from the tumultuous sea

safe on dry land, my love.

my father, my family, my life I risk for you--

no! not the siren's song

she's not the one who gambled her life away

to ensure you live to see another day;

death for me because you are too blind to see.

I can not speak but my actions are clearly screaming

'I Love You.'

to spare my life I could cut short yours--

no, my love.

will not destroy what I gave my all for,

I turn to sea foam.

To M.M. or "My Ode to Long Distance and It's Effect On People, Specifically of the Male and Female Variety."

the the East

and I'm Central

separated by as many years as in miles

you North

I South

experience levels matching the vast physical distance

soft masculinity

feminine strength

your seniority could benefit from my youth

two artists worlds apart

yet for a few brief moments

on the same page

in the same story

in the same city

on the same night

in the same room

on a date

together

laughing and learning about each other

only to never be reapeated

speak to me

soft words would be appreciated now

L. A. T. H. B.

there ain't no lying here

what you see is what you get

shoot straight from the hip to my lips

bang

you're dead from my truth

though it may be contradictory

my message is pure

LOVE. ART. TRUTH. HONESTY. BEAUTY.

This is my credence

I know and this is how it goes

there is a moment when you say to yourself

"Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you forever"

watching you sing _ _ _ _ _ _, that was the moment for me.

James Taylor & Carol King

You & Me

GOD I LOVE YOU

....

I think I understand more then you realize.

indecent proposal

"you need to let me treat you right, and worship you. 214-6**-****"

never have i ever said i wanted to be worshiped. only God deserves to be worshiped.

treated right, yes. loved, yes. respected, yes; but not worshiped.

i do not want to be placed on a higher plane

I HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL BE LOOKING FOR MY EQUAL

EQUAL

my one in the same.

there are some gals who are into that, perhaps you should propose to them.

thank you for your interest but i believe this will not be going anywhere.

MY HABITS ARE UNHEALTHY

i think you are the most fascinating creature i have ever met.

Love's Warrior

Woman, always tell you heart.

Man, never ignore your heart.

Never use affections as a weapon.

Love is meant to be shared.

Love never goes to waste,

even when it is not reciprocated in the manor you'd prefer

you are still putting Love out into the world

and that is never a bad thing.

my hopes for you, for me, for the future

we will not always be beautiful and young

but for now relish in it

when the bloom fades and can no longer cover the cracked foundation

pray that those around you stay

are true

and there because long ago when we were soft, beautiful and young

they saw what was really going on below

and loved us all the same

cracks and all.

HRS

To bed, woman!

Enough of all your princely dreaming!

Was all very lovely indeed.

The Bride.

One to cast hopes on.

All the Love, Luck, Laughter to you both.

Long Live!

la, la, la, la, la, la

turns out I still have a girls heart

thought I felt it die last year

lo, here it is still beating

still beating

still raw

raw and wise

a deadly combination

for I know the outcome

yet incapable of preventing it

for my heart is still a girls heart

still mine

and I will break it

oh yes, I will be the one

since I'm the one who loves

loves with all

with every fiber of

my girls heart

Aniken

Today I deleted your number from my phone.

Took me just over a year to do it but I finally did it. I know you deleted mine that day (cause you'd previously thrown away the things I made you and de-friended me on the FB hence my assumption).

And I felt really good about it; why did't I do it sooner?

SO

so I've been thinking about my first love for over the past month now

why, not entirely sure, but I have

My Lamb.

my lost little lamb, do you have a shepherd to keep you safe as she could?

I wonder so many things about you, mainly I want to know you're well. It has been 5 years.

My Lamb.

*sigh*

Miss our friendship.

solo

When you tell someone your heart

beware the consequences.

For if he is not the first to share, then--

Then my dear, you are to to love alone.

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man. – Unknown

To the Lassie

Same can be said for you

go where you are wanted

Never asked for your advice

We'll stick to our course, you to yours

thank ye very mush

this ain't your HIM

xoxo

The Captain

To the Captain and the crew of the ship

go on and waste your life looking for Her

never will you find Her

for you gave that up, wasted the chance--only yourself to blame

yet still you continue with the fruitless search

ALL THE WASTED TIME

all the opportunities passed, thrown away

because, because--

"because it's not Her"

It's you who's dead

long as you continue down this path

ignoring the possibilities

the possibility that

the real one you're looking for has actually been here all along.

not some past memory but a living creature right before your very eyes.

So close you could touch--kiss her

BUT. but

"But she isn't SHE"

Your loss.

Again.

hey

Last night I took your things down

for who needs remembrances

of something that was

never there

me

AD

DICT

ED

you

AT THE END OF THE DAY IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO

hmmmmmmm 2 (for I'm sure there must be a hmmmmm already for I am a broken record and only talk about one thing, THE LOVE I AM WAITING FOR)

there is a man who visits me in my dreams

a composite

the best traits/parts of living males whom I know/ know about (ie literary & movie characters,etc)

whenever I actually do dream he is usually there

this wonderfully human-- in my eyes--perfect man

flaws and all

and I love him

Faith.

one day he will be real.

till then I will continue to write these pathetic posts

for my love

my love who is not here

yet somehow is still present

for I see you in pieces in those around me

my music man

my artist

mi carino

my imaginary friend

till we meet

artist

Inspiration bit

Call me Pygmalion

Venus grant my wish

Bind him to me

My painting

My subject

My love

I'm not sorry

I do what I do because I love you

knowing full well it's not reciprocated

I'm not trying to force you to feel otherwise

I accept this fact. I wish this wasn't the case but I accept it.

I do what I do because I love you

and I would be betraying my heart if I pretended to feel otherwise

If I acted otherwise. If we interacted otherwise.

If I did anything in any other fashion.

I do what I do because I love you

and it is impossible to

it is impossible to

impossible

not to love you.

I'm the girl who loves you inside and out

Mi

Cariño

i am in love with love and desire nothing more than to love and be loved

trite and cliche but unfortunately painfully true

this

nearly all of them have been for you darling

nearly been an entire year since i've begun

(yes yes the first post is officially in may but conceived in april as is credited)

yes boy all for you

*sigh*

no lady

I'll tell you, Scarlett O'Hara, if you'll take that Southern-belle simper off your face. Someday, I want you to say to me the words I heard you say to Ashley Wilkes: 'I love you!'

I have the talent to make many things in life,

music is not one of them.

Able to enjoy and appreciate but not create.

More than ever it pains me.

So I rely on the voices of others for the catharsis.

But, oh--

If I could put this to a tune

let rhythm and melody flow from this

this well of emotion, endless in supply

if lyrically these words could fly

if, if, if

if I could sing to you

there would no concealing of my heart's intentions

and then maybe I'd hear you sing back my tune

as I do yours.

Oh

Music

the thing I lack

the thing you require

Music, If you loved me

we would be together and sing your praises

but you shun me in spite of my love

and so does he.

pictures

there goes that idea

that one I'm in love with

boy

The High has worn off

my cravings are back

no idea when I'll get my next fix

ADDICTED

Run Fast

And I never wanted

anything from you

Except

everything you had

And what was left after that too

OH!

listening to the little things

even when it seems like you're not

then recalling them weeks, months later

one of the reasons why I--

*smiles*

Late Night Literature Life Revelations

Jo,

My darling Josephine whom I have know in my heart forever. You were to go to New York in order to spare my mine, to put an end to my ever growing admiration. There such experiences were to befall you so as to supply that endlessly imaginative mind of yours with new inspiration for your harrowing tales. The people, the places, the adventures which were never meet nor experienced morn the missed opportunity to become so acquainted with the incomparable individual whom I so love. My Jo, my little woman who so gallantly played the little man with me, our hours of dreaming, confidence, merry making and all which falls in between are the fuel for my beginning each new day. Look what you have reduced me to, sentiment which I know sends you running to the hills. Only you are to blame for this my sweetness since I am not the one who reneged the promise of moving to the big city in order to prevent such a declaration; all is your fault. Now do the right thing and quell the pain which ravages my being, say you love me too. Behind all you cries for independence there must be a woman who seeks the comfort of taking the arm of a man, standing side by side through life's adventure. Have we not done that already? We share so much history as is that the natural step is to formally bond the union; our families have operated as--now I am simply rambling on. At this point if your feelings are not the same I know there is no use in trying to make you feel otherwise, you stubborn creature. So here I stand, Jo, a man fully exposed. Do me the favor of meeting me on this point, say you love me as I you.

"To be your fellow you may deny me, but I'll be your servant whether you will or no."

Forever yours,

Teddy.